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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24546193">Nessie</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/toonbot/pseuds/toonbot'>toonbot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Invader Zim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drowning, Gen, I'm an idiot sorry, Scottish Folklore &amp; Mythology, Sorry to anyone who speaks gaelic, Tried to make it as accurate as possible, the V O O T</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:47:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,818</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24546193</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/toonbot/pseuds/toonbot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A hunt for the Loch Ness monster goes wrong in so many ways.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dib &amp; Zim (Invader Zim)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Travel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ah yes another IZ fic (not based off an AU this time YAayyyyy!)</p><p>I didn't want chapter 1 to be too terribly long so I'm splitting it up into 3 chapters</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You want to use my Voot for WHAT?” Zim screamed at Dib. “Please, Zim. I need to get to Scotland, and it’s not particularly easy to get from here to there on foot.” "Fine, but I don’t TRUST you, so I'm coming along." He grabbed the human's arm, and dragged him to the Voot Cruiser bay. “How long do you need to use it?” The alien grunted. “I don’t know, I think it’s...8 hours or something…” Zim slowed down to a halt, and whipped around to face Dib. “HOW MANY HOURS?!” He screamed at the boy. Dib backed up a little, and sighed. “I know, 8 hours is way too long to be in a tiny space with you, but I really don’t have a choice here.” The human could tell that Zim was thinking about retracting his use of the Voot. “Urrgghh...FINE! It’ll take me DAYS to clean your stink out.” Unlocking the ship, the Irken pushed him in. “Oww...You could’ve given me a warning that you were going to push me in!” Dib thought he heard the alien snicker, before said alien hopped in the pilot seat, and they took off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first thing Dib noticed about the lift-off was how fast the Voot was. He fell over instantly, and nearly choked on his own spit. “WHAT THE HECK, ZIM?!” “You should’ve held onto something!” “Well you didn’t even WARN me about the lift-off! How was I supposed to know to hold onto something?!” “Further proof of humans being stupid.” Dib glared at the alien, and started reading about their destination. “We’re heading to a country named Scotland, and we need to land at Loch Ness.” “You humans name everything weird. The Irken Armada gives very simple names to conquered planets.” “What would the Earth’s name be then, Shoppia?” The human laughed, earning a glare from the Irken. “Keep laughing, stinky. I could easily drop you out of the ship.” Knowing how far down the fall would be, he shut his mouth, wanting to avoid that grim fate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what exactly are you looking for?” Zim asked, setting the ship’s controls on auto-pilot. Suddenly, a photo was shoved in his face. The photo showed was black-and-white (but all he saw was pink), and a curved hook-shaped thing was shown. “What am I looking at?” The alien asked, annoyed. Dib sighed. “THIS, is the Loch Ness monster. A very infamous urban legend, and I’m going to go find it!” The Irken scoffed, and Dib gave him a look. “What? Why are you scoffing?” Zim snickered a little, but then his snickering turned into full-on laughter.  For what felt like 5 minutes, Zim started coughing from laughing for so long. “Are you done?”, Dib asked, with which Zim gave a sickening smile at him. “I’m sorry, but what makes you THINK that you can catch this “lock ness monster’? You can’t even EXPOSE ME, ZIM!” The human sighed. “I’m already regretting asking to use the Voot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The worst part about leaving in the afternoon was that they’d be out past 10:00, which meant that Dib needed to sleep. He was already dreading that part of the journey. He knew that Zim would try to do something to him while he was asleep. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t need sleep that badly</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought to himself, looking at the Irken, who was holding a tablet, reading something in Irken, which he couldn’t read. “Isn’t it time for you to sleep or something? I thought humans needed to sleep.” His alien companion asked. “I’m not sleeping as long as I’m in here with YOU.” Zim glared at him, and tried to act innocent. “I wouldn’t do anything! I’m not THAT evil!” “Yeah right, space roach.” Zim seemed to be involved in whatever he was reading, to which Dib started to try and read it with the limited knowledge of Irken he had. "Zim? Do you think you could try and teach me Irken sometime?" He then realized that </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> it wasn't a good idea to ask Zim this, as when he turned around to face the human, his eye twitched, and he didn't say a single word. "Alright, you don't have to, just please don't murder me." The alien turned around, and remained silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite his vow to stay awake, Dib succumbed to the temptation of sleep. When he awoke, he was greeted by the Irken screaming at him. "Wake up, stinky human! We're here!" He opened his eyes, to see the rolling hills of Scotland. "Zim, how long was I out?" He looked to Zim, who was busy donning his disguise. "Hrmm...5 hours. Don't worry, I didn't do anything." The boy glared at him. "You'd better not have." He could see the invader smirk a little, and set foot outside the Voot.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Explore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dib nearly drowns and Zim is uncomfortably quiet</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I apologize to any Gaelic speakers out there dhidhkehkr</p><p>Anyways, one more chapter to go!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first thing Zim noticed coming out of the Voot, was that everything was so GREEN. “AAAAAAAAAGGHHHH WHY IS IT SO GREEN?!” The alien fell onto the ground, and Dib snickered at the sight of him freaking out over a color. “You’re green too, bud.” The invader gave him a dirty glare, and Dib cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject. The Irken stood up and brushed his uniform off, and turned to Dib. “We’ve landed in a forest near this “Loch Ness” place of yours.” “Couldn’t have parked closer to the ACTUAL lake?” Zim growled at him, looking like he would stab the human the first moment he could. Dib grabbed his bag out of the Voot, and they marched on to the lake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zim froze at the sight of the lake, remembering that he forgot his paste. "What's wrong, bugboy? Scared to step in the water?" "I forgot to bath in paste before we left, Dib-stink! In the case you've forgotten, I BURN if water touches my skin!" As Zim continued screaming, Dib looked around at everyone in the vicinity. With a nervous laugh, he put his hand over the Irken's mouth. While he couldn't hear </span>
  <em>
    <span>EXACTLY </span>
  </em>
  <span>what he was saying, Dib made out his name in the alien's rant. "Zim, shut up. We shouldn't try to attract any attention." The alien's eyes squinted and the human pulled his hand back suddenly. "Blegh! Did you lick my hand?! You're sick!" Zim smiled and quietly laughed while Dib wiped the saliva off of his hand. "Whatever, we should eat or something to have energy for later."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later on, they sat in a cafe in silence, until a waiter came by. "Awright lads, ma name is Ella, kin ah tak' yer order?" Dib stared, utterly confused, and Zim nudged his arm. "Dib-worm, she asked if she could take your order." "O-oh. Right. I'll have some shortbread." "He'll hae some shortbread." Zim told the waiter, who nodded. "Whit wid ye lik', sur?" She asked the Iandn, who shook his head. "Ah'ament hunger." Ella nodded, and started to head toward the kitchen. "A'richt, ah will hae yer fairn oot in a bawherr!" Dib blinked in confusion, and turned to the alien. "What was she saying?" "She was saying that the food will be out shortly." "Hmm...what were YOU saying…?" "I was simply telling the Ella-human that I wasn't hungry." The boy glared at the Irken, and shook his head. "Hmm."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"A'richt, lads. Yer fairn is dane!" "Thanks." Dib thanked the waiter, and started eating, earning a weird look from Zim. "What? Why're you looking at me like that?" Zim blinked and turned away. "Zim wasn't looking at you." Dib squinted and after he finished eating, placed the money on the table, and left. He noticed that the Irken had been silent for a large part of this trip. "Zim? Are you ok? You've been quiet for longer than usual, and I'm starting to get concerned." "Zim is not quiet! Your ears may have stopped working." Dib shook his head. "We should start looking for Nessie now. We're running out of daylight." "Another reason that humans are inferior. Zim can see in the dark and you can't." "Fine. Keep rubbing it in my face that you have lights in your eyes." Zim glared. "I don't have "lights" in my eyes! I have-" "Shh...do you hear that?" The Irken shut up, listening intently. "Can't you hear sounds with your antenna?" The human asked, pointing at his own hair-scythe to get his point across. "Yes, I can. But my wig muffles sounds, and I can't exactly hear very well with it on.” “There’s nobody around, you know. You COULD take it off…” Zim started to reach for his wig, when he suddenly stopped. “Waitaminute…..I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING!! YOU CAN’T TRICK ZIM THIS TIME!!!” “I wasn’t trying to-” “YOU LIE!!!!! YOU LIEEEEEEE!!!!” Dib was at his breaking point, and he could no longer handle the alien’s screaming. “Zim. Shut. UP. You are giving me a HEADACHE with your incessant screaming.” While the boy ranted, Zim’s attention was drawn to the water, and he started to tug at the human’s sleeve. “Dib-stink, look out on the water.” “What could POSSIBLY be out there that could-” He gasped. Poking out of the water was a creature who looked like the Loch-Ness Monster, and Dib, in an excited state, ran out into the water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“DIB-STINK, WHAT ON IRK ARE YOU DOING?!” The Irken screamed at the human. “It’s Nessie! I don’t want to miss my chance!” “It’s miles away! And if you drown, I’m not going to help you.” Dib shook his head, and replied, “I won’t drown, I only need to get a picture.” The creature seemed to be getting closer, and Zim’s feeling of dread was starting to grow into fear. In the blink of an eye, Dib disappeared under the water. Cursing under his breath in Irken, Zim dived into the water, trying to ignore his burning skin. He wasn’t going to let a sea monster destroy HIS Dib.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The water was dark, and Dib was quickly running out of air. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh god I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to di-</span>
  </em>
  <span> Despite his hearing being muffled by the water that filled his ears, he heard the god-forsaken demonic screech he was all-too familiar with. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Zim?</span>
  </em>
  <span> The Irken grabbed the human's arms, attempting to pull him out of the water, but Nessie still had it's tail around his legs. The alien screamed and shot the sea monster's tail, swimming back up toward the surface.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dib slowly opened his eyes, and was laying on the edge of the water. "Ughh...how did i get here?" He heard ragged breathing from behind him, and a scorched Zim was sitting behind him. "Zim, I-" "Be quiet." The Irken growled, not looking at him. He stood up, and a tablet came out of the PAK. "I'm looking for any places we can stay for the night, since you need your sleep, and so I can recover from this burn. Dib quietly followed Zim, still hurt from the near-death experience.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Return</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The two idiots argue in a hotel room</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hearing the bell above the entrance ring, the hotel receptionist looked up, her eyes widening. Two boys stepped through the door, one with extreme burn marks, and the other limping. "May...may ah hulp ye?" She asked, nervously asking. The boy that was limping used the counter to steady himself, and was panting while talking to the receptionist. "Do you...have...any...rooms left?" She looked back to the room list. "Och, weel, we ainlie hae yin room left. Ye'll hae tae share it." While he couldn't completely understand what she said,Dib heard the words, "share it", and started to die internally. "Right. Thank you." The receptionist nodded, and gave them the room card. Dib looked at the Irken, confused. The entire trip, the alien had been uncomfortably quiet, and it didn't seem like he was ok. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe later…</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Dib thought to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room was a two-bed, which Dib thanked the heavens for. No way would he share a bed with the Irken. Running up to one of the beds, he flopped on top of it, earning a glare from Zim. "What? Why are you looking at me like that? I haven't gotten to rest since we were in the Voot. Let me relax." "Irkens don't relax. Humans always have to 'sleep to conserve energy'. This is why your species is so weak. Zim could kill you in your sleep, and nobody would know." "Blood, spaceboy. People would tell from the blood stains that somebody died in this room." "Irkens are trained to leave no evidence. If I killed you, I would clean up the mess so well that the humans couldn't tell that you died." The mental image of Zim shish-kabobbing him and aggressively scrubbing the blood away made Dib both laugh and shiver at the same time. "I'm sure that you couldn't kill me even if you wanted to." The Irken gave him a questioning look. "And what gives you that idea, Dib-stink?" "Well, for starters, YOU saved ME from drowning earlier." Zim huffed and turned away. "Zim did no such thing!" Dib laughed and turned out the lights. "Goodnight, Zim."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dib woke up early the next day, and was met with a loud clanging sound immediately after. "WAKE UP DIB-HUMAN!!!" The alien yelled in his ear, smashing a pot and pan together. "ZIM! IT IS 7 A.M, WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS MUCH NOISE?!" Zim let out one of his signature manical laughs, and Dib searched the bedstand for his glasses. "Where do you even keep those?" "Classified." The Irken replied while donning his disguise. "Now, we are heading to the Voot and leaving this horrid place!" "Honestly, I'm ready to leave too. I'd like to get away from you for at least a WEEK." "You may want to take a bath, as Zim cannot stand your SMELL." Zim made a gagging motion, and Dib sighed, heading toward the bathroom. "Fine, I'll shower before I go, but I swear to god if you even STEP in the bathroom while I'm in there, I'll make sure the water burns you." "Fine. Zim will not interrupt your "cleansing session.'" "It's a SHOWER, Zim! "Cleansing session" just sounds creepy." The alien smirked as the human turned away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For Dib, the worst part about showering was cleaning his hair, since it was a spiky mess. When he was 12, it was a simple spike. Now, at 15, it started to look more like a lightning bolt, just like his dad's hair. Due to how long it was, it usually took him around 5-6 minutes to finish cleaning it, so when he was done with his shower, he had spent 17 minutes in there. When Dib looked at his phone, he noticed a text notification that had been given 5 minutes ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Gaz: where r u? Dads been asking and I cant lie for long</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dib reluctantly typed an answer, knowing that dealing with Gaz was worse than having to face the Professor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Dib: I'm in Scotland, with Zim</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Gaz: did zim try to kill u there?</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Dib: nah, he actually saved me from drowning yesterday</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Gaz: i cant believe that</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Dib: you better believe it lol</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dib laughed to himself before looking up, only to meet the eyes of an angry Zim. The alien snatched his phone, and started scrolling through it. "Hey! Give me back my phone, Zim!" "How DARE you tell the Gaz-human about yesterday's incident! I should kill you for this!" The boy smirked, and Zim gave him a disgusted face in return. "But you WON'T kill me." "Of course Zim would. The only reason I saved you from that Nessie-beast is because only ZIM can eliminate the Dib!" "Sure, keep telling yourself that." Dib replied, walking out of the room. Zim followed, grumbling about how Dib would pay for this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey Zim? Where's the Voot? Didn't you park it here?" "It's hidden. Your inferior human eyes cannot see it." The Irken hit a button, and the Voot came into sight. "Ah yes, insult my eyesight because it was hidden with a cloaking device. You should get an award for this." Dib sarcastically replied, shivering when the cold wind hit him. "Get in the Voot, Dib-worm! Unless you want to be left behind!" Dib eagerly jumped in, and they took off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, this is quite an adventure that I don't ever want to have again." One of Zim's antennae perked up. "Not even a space adventure?" Dib shook his head. "No no, I'd gladly go into space! Why? Do you have something planned?" Zim gave him a death glare and Dib sat back in his seat. A drip of water from Dib's hair dropped onto Zim's head, and, despite it being only a DROP of water, he started burning where it landed. The rest of the ride back was them bickering and screaming at each other. Nobody ever said that they'd get along.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that's the end! I hope you enjoyed this fic.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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